To Garner Wisdom

"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy. The amount of work is the same."~~~Francesca Reigler

Thursday, March 3

Bit of Church Humor; Joke Break

Church HatsA few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman, who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
1890 Robertson Fine Art Lady Woman Sunday Church HatSo Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't,' said the man.
'Don't you realize that I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply.
'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.
' Nope,' said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 58 years.
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Shade Tree Mechanics

Shade Tree Mechanics
Working on a car can be dangerous. The car can fall if it is jacked up and fall. With daddy working on anything seemed as if fire was the main danger. Grandmother's house had not been built back long after their fire. We were living in a new brick house, which I thought was a mansion. I drive by there now and am amazed at how small it seems. That night he had pulled the navy blue Dodge Dart he was driving at the time beside the carport. I always got really worried when he tried to do something drunk. He had to, just had to get the car fixed, to go visit Parker. Parker was the local bootlegger. One of the local bootleggers. Lauderdale County was dry. Traveling to Pulaski was really not an option, considering the not so reliable car Daddy had. I could see out the kitchen door as he stood under the hood messing with the breather on the top of the engine. He took it off and was pouring gas into the carburetor. The next thing I knew flames were coming from under the hood of the car. Forget there being an easy way to put the fire out. There was not a water hose hooked up. It was before fire extinguishers were standard in homes. Dirt was the answer at that moment. I saw the fire and him getting sand from the pile that was left in front of the house from the building back of Grandmothers house. The fire was finally put out, but the car was in need of more repairs than before he started.

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