After the Old House Burnt

The burning of the old house put me in another time in my life that was eventful. The night the house burnt I was taken to my aunts. Her daughters were spending the night with the dad's brother's children. I had my dear aunt all to myself. She treated me in a manner that I never remember anyone treating me ever. She tucked me in her girls beds and sat beside me as I was going to sleep. Telling me that all was going to be alright. She treated me as a daughter, that night. She in later years would even more so. She was like my grandmother and mama dealing with the men of our family. Her brother's were a great worry for her as well as her dad. She worked hard to keep her husband in line. She put extra effort into keeping her daughters away from the drinking men. It always bugged me, because she would not let them spend the night with me at grandmothers. I did get to stay with them alot though.

Insecure was something I had already started even then. Jeolous, and feeling not as good as my cousins was a feeling that I have never not known. It started then, because my grandmother was in the hospital during the fire. She had to be told with great caution. This was something that was going to hurt her deeply. She had worked hard for all she had in the house. She had also lost her son and his entire family in a fire two years prior to this. She still morned over the death of her son, his wife and their twelve year old son. The fact that his wife had died last and they did not get any Uncle Bill's money made it even worse. My granddaddy cursed his daughter-in-laws family all night long many nights. My grandmother was constantly reminded of the fire, because of the money they did not get.

The chore of telling my grandmother was finally taken care of and she was to be in the hospital another week. The discussion then shifted to where they were going to stay when she was released from the hospital. The only thing that could be was that Grandmother and Granddaddy stay with there daughter. The fate that was put on me was heartbreaking to me. I had to live in a house without my grandmother. I was put with my mama and daddy, not my grandmother. I was supposed to take this and not worry that I may be cold, hungry and wet once again. We were to stay with Uncle Keith and Aunt Nell. This was my daddy's brother that was close to his dad when it came to his personality when drinking. He spent many nights ranting all night long about the unfairnesses he had suffered in his life. He shifted to the Korean war most to the time. Bomb Fucked this or that was one of his regular 'isms. This man gave selfishness a profound definition. Thus the beginning of a four month stay that was going to be full of fist fights and chaos.

In the short four months there we will have spent the night in a ditch. Daddy and his brother will leave us at the burnt house with no way home, because they have ran in yet another ditch. My little brother will have numerous mad fits. My aunt will endure all of this in a marriage she left her first husband and child for.