Great Fears

I am not sure if these are phobias or what really. I not afraid of crossing bridges. I have a reoccurring dream that I am on a bridge. It seems to be Wheeler Dam, most of the time. I have tried in my mind to figure if it had something to do with some of my childhood discomforts. I am calling it childhood discomfort, because I really know that their have been many children in worse situations than we were. The adults for what ever reasons in my day were just not as parental aware as they should have been. People in general are more concerned with themselves anyway. Sadness and Utter Kaos made them just not pay attention at times. Sadness also makes you lazy, I think. Chemical dependancy also makes you just not care about anything, but the chemical. The bridge, the rocks and the water are what if I saw a shrink may be from all the water problems that the adults didn't take care of.
The house on Morley always had water standing in the bathroom floor. My toes were always split from walking in that water. My memories of that bathroom are that it was designed in the same fashion that the one in Alabama in Grandmothers new house. The bathroom in the new house was great. I would every Saturday clean it til it sparkled. The bathroom in the house on Morley had a tub in the same place. Water in the tub was Mama's cure for most everything. The tub was where she sent me the day I drank the clorox. I am living proof that clorox will not kill you at five years old. I almost drank the whole glass. I walked home from school that day and was thirsting to death. Mama had left the clorox she borrowed from the Kentucky neighbors that lived on our left. It was in a drinking glass. I drank that then ate a raw weiny on loafbread. In the tub full of water I was surrounded by floating weiny's because the clorox did make me throw up. That is probably why it didn't kill me. (to be continued)