Just Gloom and Doom

I was asked the other day about, how long my daddy had been dead. This reminded me of the events that lead to his death. It was a couple of days before the actual whole story came to me. The strange thing about is was the time of day that the specifics and facts came to me. It was four am on Tuesday. I had been asked on Sunday. On the front porch in the dark; I out loud said to myself, " I can't believe that it has been so long since I have even thought of this event.
Daddy had already started doing the things that a doctor had told him before we left the north. He had been having an occasional sezure from his heavy drinking. My fourteen year old niece has asked about him recently. It is hard for my brother to specify the exact cause of his death to her. He does not want to talk badly of our daddy. He was probably a much better man than many think. He let wild-cat whiskey turn him into something he really was better than. Good looks was something the Garner's always were proud of; there really are no ugly people in our family. My aunt and one of the cousins dwelled on that fact, possibly to cover-up the faults of many of them. My grandfather had this curley thick hair, and was a small man. He was a drunk and begot sons that were, drunks too. The question I often ask is being a drunk passed down? Nope, because I ain't and my children ain't. One of the boy cousins has terrible addiction problems. Maybe some get it and some don't. I do think that some of the unfaithful sexual tendencies have seeped into the later generations, but who is to say that is genetic. I try hard not to be what they were and want my children to be even better than I was. Wisdom is garnered even from watching people mess up.